We will see how long this holds up. One more year!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Congratulations Japan Women's Soccer
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Paranormal Report Episode 74
If you are in to ghosts, aliens, and other mysteries of the universe; check out the newest episode of the Paranormal Report. You might see something interesting!
Random Reasoning: The World's Filthyness Coverup
It's been a while since I had some Random Reasoning for you. Partly because I have been traveling a lot and partly because I spaced out since my last random reasoning. Being a blogger would prove to be harder than it seems. I guess I will just have to come to the conclusion that not every post is going to be better than the last. Now, since I have gotten my apologies out of the way, let me go into my Random Reasoning of the week. I will try not to turn this in to complaining, but my sincere apologies if it comes off that way.
Over the course of my life I have noticed certain things do not always hold up to be true. I believe that we all have some of these observations, but here are three of mine that may help you to maintain your cleanliness and overall wellbeing.
#1. Any restaurant or buffett that have the words "Fun", "Yummy", "Fancy", etc. in or around the name should probably be avoided at all costs. These are generally terms used by restaurants of the Asian Persuasion. This is a sign that there is a massive cover up going on with the things that are "Annoying", "Distusting", or "Filthy". Unless you were preoccupied upon arrival and you missed the sign, if the asian buffett has pizza and hot dogs, you should probably head for the door.
#2. No matter the amout consumed, you are garuanteed a severe hangover if you drink alcohol that use the terms "Premium" and "Truly Fine" or can be found in the database www.ghettowine.com. A member of this family is MD 20/20, which actually earned the name it's generally known by as "Mad Dog". Morgan David never saw that coming. In case you are wondering "Premium" is taken straight from "Milwaukee's Best way to give you a hangover" and "Truly Fine" comes straight off "An Aristocrat would never drink this." Again this is an example of a cover up of the filthyness.
#3. If you need ask for a key attached to a hub cap to use a bathroom, you are better off behind a dumpster. There are countless reasons why to avoid a bathroom of this type. Most importantly, they are covering up their filthyness with a lock and key. If you use this bathroom you increase your chances of soiling your pantlones. Think about it, you already have to use it bad enough to stop at this dive, then you have to ask for the key, scurry around to the back of the buidling, unlock the door, find a light switch to a burned out light, and finally wipe down the seat in the dark and hope you hit the target. If you have not squirt a little something out, you have a stronger sfinkter than most.
In conlusion, here is a little math for you:
"Fancy Fun" Chinease Buffet + Milwaukee's Best "Premium Beer" + Jim Bob's "not so Kwik Stop" toilet =
Filthy Underpants
Friday, July 1, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Random Reasoning of the Day: Snapple Fact
If you drink bottles of Snapple, then you realize there are many valuable facts that reside under the cap of "that stuff". If you are not familiar with these; Snapple has a list of retired all-stars on their website. In general, these facts are very useful for your everyday life. A couple of my favorites, and I feel most beneficial, could be: Retired fact #360"Mexican jumping beans jump to get out of the sun" or Retired fact #92 "fish can drown". You can check out the whole list here: http://www.snapple.com/retired-facts/
I mostly relied on these facts to save me from life threatening situations, like alligator attacks and stubbing my big toe, but you must be weary of the generality of many of the facts. Today under my delicious Snapple Peach Tea I was presented with the active fact that "An average bar of soap lasts 2 times as long as an average bottle of body wash." The first thing I thought was, "What is the source on this information? Chances are this was discovered by JoAnn Schmit during a 7th grade science project." Upon further consideration I thought there was way too many conditions for this to be proven as scientific fact.
1. What is an average size bottle of body wash? We all know most everything in America considered average is 8oz, but everything we use comes in a 16oz bottle. I consider 8oz travel size and nobody uses that.
2. Unless you have the bar of soap somewhere in the shower where it is not actively in contact with water, it dissolves fairly quickly.
3. It depends on the type of person you are. Are you a, "Little goes a long way" or "I use way too much toilet paper so I don't get poop on my hand" type of person.
I guess long story short is, I am pro body wash because I don't feel like a wash cloth gets the job done and I don't want to be rude and put the bar of soap between my butt crack and then put it back for the next household member to rub on themself. Main point being, "Don't believe everything your Snapple cap says. You may start wasting money on bar soap."
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